Tiger Mothers

Amy Chua is on the cover of Time Magazine this week.  She recently published her memoir, entitled The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother.  After reading the article, I purchased her book on my Kindle.  The article talks about her method of parenting, which she describes as being the Chinese way of strictness and inflexible structure for her children.  Her kids were never allowed to go to a sleepover, watch television, or participate in a school play.  They studied – in elementary school – into the night, and practiced their instruments up to six hours per day.  She has received much derision and anger – with some even calling her methods child abuse.  However, the article alludes to her exaggeration, and she even confirms that she has eased up over the years and learned from her mistakes.  She asserts that her methods are the norm in China.  

As China becomes a world power – its economy is second only to that of America, and students in Shanghai wipe us out with their test scores - do we need to consider that maybe she’s onto something?  She says that her children developed self-esteem through having “mastery experiences,” and through their success in most of what they attempted.  She feels that Americans, with their Little Leagues that sometimes don’t keep score, and teachers that feel that everyone is a winner, regardless of their amount of effort, are coddling our students and teaching them that others owe them praise to improve their self esteem.  In this I agree with her.  We are developing a nation of students who expect that in life, rewards will be handed to them regardless of their abilities and work ethic. 

I plan to read The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother with an open mind – and look for areas where she might be correct.  I abhor her purported treatment of her girls, and I agree with most people that she did irreparable damage to their emotions.  But I also feel that maybe I can learn something from how she dedicated herself to ensuring her girls’ academic success, and how she taught them that hard work and dedication can make them successful.  

I don’t want my children to quit when something is difficult, or to learn that they can “get by” without doing their best.  I want them to develop a work ethic that allows them to keep on practicing, even when they aren’t seeing much progress.  I want them to experience the feeling of completing something difficult, and knowing that it was better than they thought they could do.  I want them, above all, to develop their self-esteem based on knowledge of their abilities, and faith in the fact that they can thrive in a world of competition.